girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My vagina is very pro this idea
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
