Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
