so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
