ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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