Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
