I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
