Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
