Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
