Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
