I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
