You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
