Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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