Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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