Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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