Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
