great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
