Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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