That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
