Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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