I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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