Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
