Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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