Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
