I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
