This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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