so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
