Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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