she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
