I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
