He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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