just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
