I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
