I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
