Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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