last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
