I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize