this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
