You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
