And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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