entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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