worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
