I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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