They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
