Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
