I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Pants are for mortals
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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