no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
