i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
