im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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