i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
