It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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