There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
