if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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