he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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